This is the book of my experience

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL / Monday, February 05, 2007

The internet has been around for a long time now, and it's main objective/goal is to make communication easier. Yes there's actually more to the internet than porn. Anyway, standing firmly by my statement about the internet making communication easier, messengers, chatrooms, emails, etc. has been around here since the beginning. E-mails were brought about, introducing the innovative idea of writing,sending a letter to whoever with less hassle than going to a trip to the post office to have it delivered,stamped,then sent. The trip alone could take you hours considering the hustle ans bustles of the city traffic. Then it would take more or less than three weeks(depends on the distance) before it gets to the reciever,moreover, sometimes it costs too much to have anything delievered. Specially with speed delivery. With the internet, one could just write(or type for this matter,a skill that could be expedited with practice)and send the mail at the comfort of their home, without really having the risk of having callouses that are brought about to us, by pens. This proccess (excluding the typing part coz that's really relative) only takes about 2 seconds(maximum)to be done. A second for finding the send button, and another second for clicking on it. Since then, man has found his convenience with communicating with people around the world. But it didn't stop there. People found ways how to make it easier, basically out of laziness. They're created abbreviations, text grammars, and such to make it easier and faster e.g. brb (be right back), gtg (got to go), hb (hurry back), ttyl (talk to you later), LOL (laugh out load my ever favorite!), and so on and so forth. That type of habit is evident in almost every label, statement, or whatever e.g. BEP(Black Eyed Peas), PCD(Pussycat Dolls), MLTR(Michael Learns To Rock), MCR(My Chemical Romance), PATD(Panic At the Disco), BSB(Backstreet Boys), MMC(Mickey Mouse Club/Multimedia Memory Card), CPK(California Pizza Kitchen), etc. even PRESIDENTS have them. Take PGMA(President Gloria Mcapagal Arroyo) for example. It has become so abundant in the youth's culture that you could probably here conversations that have a lot of those content.

Emo guy texting an emo gay

Emo guy: Hey dude r u going 2 d PATD concert this sat?
Emo gay: No i dont lyk them that much,i was actually going 2 stay home and hav a vdeo marathon of PCD's musicvds, then imit8ing their moves ryt after!
Emo guy: LOL, that sound fun!ill cum ovr at ur house nd maybe we cud make out after?SEB?
Emo gay: Sure!c u there!Gtg, BSB's up and OMG Nick Carter is just so hott!
Emo guy: LMAO!Ayt ttyl!you tc!

Ending: Emo guy turned out to be another emo gay *bows*

I can't believe i'm doing another post about this again. LOL. But since you guys keep requesting for an update about it, i'll gladly fill you in. LOL. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. I know,what's with the Lol's? Well apparently according to someone, you can't trust anyone typing Lol's every once in a while in their blog posts. According to that someone, it's an indication wether a person is lying or not..................SAY WHAAAT?..I guess that explains my little essay. Sorry if i made a big deal out of it. It's just that someone practically used it as solid proof to make me look like i'm lying. But that's beside the point. Solid proof is showing Janina the convo I had with you-know-who. According to her, it proves that what I said about sticking up to Janina wasn't true. I'm gonna quote it directly from her message.

"... I know for a fact that Chip would read this just like the message we exchanged on yahoo. He also told you that the saved chat i sent to you was half of the ending and that he stood up for you before that. I can tell you that, that is untrue. I have the whole document with me now that i have retrieved. I'll send it to you if you want proof, because i know that Chip said he didn't have it cause the proof is against what he said. You want it? But hear this, i think with the document you would still believe Chip no matter what, since that's what lovers do. You're a good person Liah... (I'm sorry, i'm not using Janina cause i'm not used to it. Forgive me.) And i wish that this relationship will turn out well cause i don't like seeing you hurt."

Why didn't you send it to her in the first place? LOLOL. You can send that message to her. Sure. Be my guest. You wouldn't happen to have the reason "Because I didn't want to make you look bad to your girlfriend"?LOL. Well by sending that alone, the last parts of the convo would've already made me look bad to my girlfriend. Why?Why didn't you send the whole thing? It wasn't out of laziness..If it was, you wouldn't have took the time to edit it. And about this line..

"I know that Chip said he didn't have it cause the proof is against what he said."

LOLOLOL. I don't keep messages even from Janina, what more with you? Moreover, I don't keep messages from anyone at all. and YOU know that FOR A FACT.

Ok before moving on, I forgot to make sense with you guys. Sorry. Uhm.. Here's how it went. It was monday morning and my parents and I talked on the phone like we always do every monday and thursday mornings. I get to talk to them for 5 full hours during that time, ever since I broke up with Cheryll. They were always calling, from the day they heard the news, and were always offering me sympathy and stuff, and I always rejected. Simply because I didn't need it. I have Janina with me. "As long as I have Janina, I'm ok", i said to them. But they knew all too well about my past. And somehow, it stuck to them. Like every break-up, even if you don't love the person anymore, it still hurts. Thus, my every Monday and Thursday crying to my parents over the phone. Though in time, you learn to move on, not expecting to find anyone better,but still, you do. If you're lucky,you'd find the best. Hence,..... Janina. My undying love for Janina. And you'd HAVE to say i'm lucky. Coz I find her to be the best. Ever since then my bond with my parents has become stonger, even if you'd say it's only during mondays and thursdays. It's the bond that I have been craving from them.

This will probably sound gay, but I cry up till now everytime they call. They call here, to say something important about me. Even if it's the same group of lines over and over again, it'd still have the same kick to your heart. Just like "I love you", but not exactly. It's something better. It's the love of your parents being expressed through words. It's different when you hear it from your parents. It's different when you hear from their own parted lips, with their own voice, that they care about you. So what do they say everytime they call me?

"We let you be with her eventhough we knew your lifespan was already shortened. We didn't get in the way for you to be with her, so instead of heading home to spend our time with our precious son, we worked for you. To let you have all the best, all you wanted, all you needed. For atleast you'd die happy, being with her and being satisfied with this lifetime of yours. We never wanted anything but the best for our youngest son."

They knew how sad I was, how it all ended up. I know I was the one who initiated the break up. But I didn't want it to go to the next level. The break up was already hard for me, what more with losing contact? It's just so hard to stop caring, specially to the person you spent most of your hard times with. It's just so sad it had to end up that way. Well, upon hearing all that my parents were just sad for me. And they really thought she'd take care of me no matter what. I guess know, they know they were wrong. Thus,...

"We thought you were better.."

That line alone, and with a couple of words for the climatic sequence of the sentence such as "we're not gonna keep this short and straight to the point", were said by my parents through mail. They said it to Cheryll...

They kept it short for a reason. They didn't want to talk much simply because they didn't want to get involved, making a mountain out of a rock. They didn't want things to go bad but they still had to voice out their feelings for their son.... For me. But at the same time, not hurting Cheryll as she have hurt me. Another reason why they kept it short, was because they weren't biased. Cheryll, that was just one line. You're not the only one who got told off. There were hundreds, no, thousands of lines they said to me, for making mistakes such and such. But even so, i couldn't help but cry, not because they're rifling me with hurtful words, no. But because after such a long time, they were teaching me like how most parents would do to their kids. What's cool about my parents is that they listen to their kids' explanation. Coz all people are entitled to do that. Still, my parents were fair, giving me practically 2 hours of getting rifled, and giving you 1 line to read for more or less than 5 seconds. And unfortunately, you took it the wrong way... It was really bad for you. Though it's really fortunate that my parents are just understanding,and they know when to stop..

I just didn't see it coming. My parents sacrificed so much (i don't want to be specific coz it's gonna be sounding like i'm bragging if i post it here, most of you guys know what i'm talking about anyway)but still, you go choose your own bitter way with living your life. I don't even see what's there to be bitter about. Atleast not to the point of losing contact with each other.

Why my parents? And you just had to remind them about the gun thing didn't you? Well it hurt them. It was really wise of them to set their instincts aside and chose to be rational. It was wise of them not to go on replying, making the issue bigger. If you had a son and some girl just came up to you and said "i remember the time your son was being suicidal", wouldn't that hurt you?...

If you're gonna hurt anyone from this, let it be me. Not Janina, nor my parents. Just me....

*sighs* Anyway, uhm.. After having all that charade. I signed into msn and saw her id OL. And told her that it was rude to just reply something like that to my parents. Then went off, then went on again, on yahoo.. And yeah, saw like 5 messages from her. 5 messages, 5 full messages. Why didn't you talk when i was still online? Was it because to avoid hearing what you don't want to hear? Confrontation? You always go replying when i'm already out, not letting me say what's on my side. All I have is this blog. It's not for the intention to put a stain on your name. No. It's because this is all I have. It's a good way to let all the anger out though, i'd tell you that.

I told Janina about everything. Oh by the way, mom and dad already knows her!Lol. Wala lang. I'm just really happy they got in contact with each other, 3 most important people in my life. Uhm, and as a girlfriend of course, Janina got hurt. Because I was hurt. So we spent most of the night, just crying with each other. I was so hurt that she got hurt too. We'd fall asleep together, after crying then waking up the next morning(phil)/in the afternoon(cali) telling each other nonstop how much we love each other. And how our feelings just get so relative.

Guys i'm all tired. And the prof is here. Oh right. I haven't made updates here for a while. Ok, i'll just take a few more minutes off my time for a quick update.

I'm living with my cousins now, along with my uncles. Uhm.. I'm going home anytime soon now, around March-May. Yes it's fo' shizzle!Lol. The reason why they let me stay is because school for me in the Phil doesn't start until June. So yeah. Right now I'm being homeschooled by a Professor from Harvard just to get my brain all oil-ed and pumpin'! So that, not only do I avoid to waste time in the Phil being idle(though I really need it,specially with my friends and of course, my grilfriend), but I also get there just in time for school having my brain all ready! Not only that, atleast Janina could have something to be proud of me. I wanna be the best for her. I wanna do all what I can, as to what she did. Anyway, those were just tidbits of what has been happening. I'm glad you guys like all the songs and YES, those are actually for Janina. I'll be putting up more soon. I doubt they'd all be like the first ones I put up here, as I have such a versatile taste with music. But I hope you guys will like it either way. Thanks for all the tags and the hits!Really, didn't think it would be that big. Thanks again. Take care!

/It ends at this point
7:02 AM

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